Alcoholism & The Family Unit – Part I: The Children

While alcoholism may feel like a very isolated experience that affects only the alcoholic’s body and mental state, it is actually a condition that reaches everyone that cares about the alcoholic. This three part series will take a glimpse of life for those who love an alcoholic: the children, the spouses, and other family members and friends.

Life for the child of an alcoholic is always difficult, though for some it may be much worse than for others. In the best case scenario another parent will remove the children from the home of the alcoholic, reducing the mental and possible physical scars or altogether removing danger. In the worst case scenarios the child is left with a single parent who is an alcoholic and unable to properly care for them.

Alcoholics who are active in their addiction think to their next drink and not much further. They are unable to care for the needs of a child at any age, and in fact older children often end up becoming caretaker for their alcoholic parent. The burden of worry and fear for the safety and well being of their parent is overwhelming and more than their young minds are capable of dealing with.

Everyone reacts to alcohol differently, so the experience of the child will range from complete neglect and being ignored most of the time to being physically and/or mentally abused on a near daily basis. It isn’t that the parent is a cruel child abuser, but that they are not in their clear mind and are acting out of their drunken state.

When children of alcoholics grow up they are often over-achievers who hold themselves to very high standards. They may not know what a normal life is supposed to be like and they may search for stability and security. In many cases, children of an alcoholic may grow up to struggle with addictions of their own whether it is to alcohol, drugs, or even food.

In instances where an alcoholic parent is able to seek help and get their drinking back under control, they are sometimes able to salvage the relationship with their children. In other cases it happens too late and the relationships are never functional.